a week today :(

each person takes death differently. some like to talk about, while others become more reserved. in any case you can not shun the world from what has happened to you and neglect the help and support from your family. in the end we are all we have and we all feel the pain. this being my first death i’ve ever experienced, i feel like i need to talk about my feelings because that is the only way i can cope through the pain. it’s only been day two but i feel a little bit better than i did yesterday because i understand that things happen for a reason. i can not put blame on any one because there is no one to blame for what happend. God took little Itzabella from us for a reason that none of us will ever know, but i have faith and hope that with time things will get better and that possibly there could be another chance to have a young soul fill us with happiness again within our family. but as of now i leave things in God’s hands and pray that Itzabella watches over us.   I can not deny the fact that it would have been nice to have you here alive and that i randomly burst out crying because I was expecting you for so long that I created a bond with you. I just hope that you never leave our thoughts and that you provide strength to all of us, your family, so that we can move past this. you were born an angel Iztabella, our little angel and we will always, always, always love you and you know this. 

“A wish was granted just for me, it could be for anything. I didn’t ask for money or a mansion in Malibu, I simply wished for one day more with you. First thing I’d do, is pray for time to crawl, then I’d unplug the telephone and keep the TV off. I‘d hold you every second, say a million I love you’s, that’s what I’d do, with one more day with you. One more day, one more time, one more sunset, maybe I’d be satisfied. But then again I know what it would do, leave me wishing still, for one more day with you.” -Rio Diamond

I’ve never had to deal with a loss, although I knew that one day I will. But I never expected it to be from a young innocent soul. God only knows why he lets some people live and I’m pretty sure your in a better place now, but it would have been nice to have met you. And I’m pretty sure you knew that because I know it was your hand that I dreamt was holding mine in my dreams last night and i didn’t want you to let go. I love you little one.

and if you were with me tonight, i‘d sing to you just one more time. a song for a heart so big, God wouldn’t let it live. may angels lead you in little Itzabella.

RIP Itzabella Arriaga. I hope that one day in heaven we are able to meet and I can hold you, and carry, and kiss you like I had hoped. I love you lots piglet.

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